theroseandthebeast:

penandinkprincess:

penandinkprincess:

I love that every year fire departments are like “hey. maybe DON’T fry your turkeys?”

and across the nation, patriots rise up and shout “FUCK YOU” bc surely it’ll be fine for THEM

and then start massive grease fires in their backyards

it is my most favorite thanksgiving tradition

for non-americans who have no idea what I’m talking about, a TON of fire departments and public health people will do annual presentation videos on how deep frying turkeys can go catastrophically bad

and every year, the american public goes “…anyway, where’s my propane tank-”

(via sarcasticcollegestudent)

temeyes:

price the humidifier

questforgalas:

Those 141 smiles just hit different

I would protect Elliot and Neil with my life look at the precious muffins

snakeater:

yeah i couldn’t be trusted with a penis id get hard from the way the sun shines through the leaves and everyone would hate me

(via ithinkthiswasabadidea)

cupidjoy:

REMINDER THAT ANTISEMITES AREN’T WELCOME HERE AND WON’T BE TOLERATED

(via naniiebim)

escuerzoresucitado:

papayajuan2019:

cuz everytime we touch i get this feeling

(via shatterdomerockstar)

cognitohazardous:

them: you better not be playing that damn shark guitar

my subnautical ass:

grox:

I just felt a spell bounce off of me

alivehouse:

lets start blair witching it in the corner. together

snobgoblin:

dumb idea

softwaring:

lmaonade:

hey sorry if i was offputting and strange and bizarre and weird as fuck last night i was just being myself

sandmandaddy69:

junglejim4322:

Spencers is the funniest store ever they really put 25% of an off brand hot topic in the front of a sex toy dungeon and then called it a day